I’ve just realised something crucial.
I’ve got it all wrong.
Since becoming a mother I’ve never really said “I need some me time”…. It always made me feel guilty to say it out loud, and if i ever heard anyone say it , it made me tense up. What does it even mean?
Time out?
To get away from everything?
Upto now, I’ve just thought it meant being completely alone, me sat there in a dark room, my own thoughts and maybe a good cry of happy and sad tears built up inside, maybe time spent just kicking the shit out of a pillow or singing into my hairbrush, jumping up at the mirror pretending to be the opening credits for Biker Grove, a bubble bath or maybe flying off to a hot country just to escape the rain. The very thought of just being on my own company bothers me. How dull.
“You need some you time….”
“Make time for yourself….”
Although I completely agree with peoples advice to have some ‘me time’, I actually never really understood what to do about it.
Until just now.
Daddy’s out and the boys are in bed, after skipping bath time for the second night running because their eyes fell heavy, quicker than the bath water ran. When it came to putting Ronnie down he was so unsettled. I could feel myself getting stressy – because I was about to hop in the unwanted bathwater for some ‘me time’, and now I’d either have to skip it or lay there listening to Ronnie getting into a tiz.
I decided to do something I never do. Instead of leaving him or trying to settle him, I got him undressed and got him in the bath with me! Ok so its well past his bedtime and risked him being even more awake than before. But he loved it, and so did I. The tears stopped immediatley, and after a good old splash, he was fast asleep on my bony chest and I was in bubbles, in my own little bubble of complete harmony.
‘Me time’ isn’t about being alone. It’s about bending rules and stepping away from the daily routines, doing what makes ME happy. Doing something different.
‘Me time’ isn’t about me. It’s about finding my happy place and taking myself there, taking who I want with me, if I want to.
‘Time’…… I’m going to find it more often…….