Why it’s never too late to say “I’m sorry”…

You might remember a few weeks back, I wrote an open letter to a 15 year old me…

Well, yesterday I posted about all of things I need to ‘quit doing now’ in order to rid myself of the anxieties that came with motherhood, and it turns out I’ve had them longer than I first thought.
This morning, I woke to a facebook message from someone I went to school with. We weren’t friends back then, we had a run in and our paths haven’t crossed since, yet we’ve been friends on Facebook for some time (as you do). I’ve seen a completely different person to who I remember. She’s now a fabulous mummy, who has often given me some really great advice on motherhood, through commenting on posts I’ve shared on Kickstartbabies.

I mentioned about ‘letting go of the past’, something I struggle with.  Well, truth is, I still felt slightly intimidated by her now, for something that happened at school when we were just kids, half a lifetime ago. I often wondered if she still felt the same, or if she even thinks about it at all. I don’t judge her for it… although feelings clearly do stick, because I still think about it when we talk.

It was my Birthday, and a present of mine disappeared from the table in class. I knew who took it, but I was more nervous of confronting her than I was bothered about getting it back.

I confronted her. Even my mum did, and to this day I’ve worried if I accused the wrong person,  jumped to conclusions, offended, or if she even  remembers what happened.

Then I woke to this message….

” Omg just reading your post about things to ‘quit’
Makes me think of school and how awful I was!
I’ve ALWAYS felt bad (and ashamed) of the time we had a run in. I was such a dick. Me & two friends did take your present (even though I’ve never said this to anyone out loud ever through sheer embarrassment). We were being silly & for some reason found it funny in a split second moment, then instantly regretted it and didn’t know what to do, so we hid the present then after you disappeared took it back! This is VERY embarrassing and I’m soooo sorry! I was a twat at school so full of attitude all because I hated school and had zero confidence & felt incredibly lonely so made up for it with my ridiculous attitude.
I’ve always thought your amazing, I used to think you looked like Britney Spears (when she was young, hot and famous of course) and I always admired how popular you were. So even though you have low self esteem, other people put you on a pedestal. You’ve done amazing with your boys and I love your blog!
I just have to admit all this because I still cringe about it and I would hate for you to still think of it and feel angry ? so god knows how many years way too late… I’m reallllly sorry! Xx”

I cried! Reading this message made me cry (and laugh).

Isn’t it crazy how half of the anxieties we have, stems from how we feel about ourselves?!

Yet from where I was standing, you were the prettiest girl in class, had a perfectly prefect smile, a bag full of confidence and were always one of the ‘popular’ ones.

Moral of the story is…. It’s NEVER too late to say “sorry” and it’s NEVER to late to ‘let go’.

I have massive respect for this girl. It’s not easy saying sorry,  especially all these years later. But she did.

I’m sorry too, for still holding onto feelings and defining you by that one silly incident, and not seeing it for what it really was.

It’s not too late. It’s never too late, because we can teach our children not to take childhood too seriously.  We can teach them to be open and honest with their feelings instead of hiding behind their fears, and not to take things so personally.

Life always has a way of working things out, and we learn something new everyday…. even if it does take 15(ish) years to figure out.