Confessions of a first time mummy to twins…

● I say I’m busy when I’m not.
It’s not because I don’t want to see you. It’s just that sometimes, I’m busy doing nothing.

● I’ve been known to eat a 3 day old cheerio that I found on the floor to save me walking it to the bin.

● I don’t like busy places.
It makes me nervous. I’m not the Stacey you used to know and this surprises me more than you,  trust me. Along came two little miracles and with them, a bundle of anxiety.

● I picked a poo from the paddling pool with a wet wipe and turned a blind eye. (It was solid…..)

● I don’t accept help.
My lack of wanting it, causes offence. Don’t. The boys have stayed over someone’s house twice, not through lack of offers. But that suits us, and now they’re older I think we’re finding our own way out of the over protectiveness through nursery. It’s a small step,  but this pace fits our needs, and theirs. I am actually ok!

● I stole a wham bar from the corner shop when I was 9. I picked up two together and paid for just the one. I still lose sleep over it.

● I get jealous.
Yep, bring out the violin. I get jealous of people who have someone around doing all the nanny bits. Having an immediate ‘go to’ for questions,  encouragement, babysitting, talking to’s, advice and making dinners when I’m too tired, to help out even when I insist I don’t need it. It’s still raw for me that mines not here and I feel like I should just crack on with it.

● I pluck my left, big toe. I know what your thinking,  just the left? Yes. I don’t know why but I have to, from time to time pluck the little suckers. Could be hormones, or could be punishment for the wham bar theft.

● It’s lonely.
(Oops, did you pack away the violin?) Don’t worry, i’m not alone by any means. But in a sea full of familiar faces, sometimes it can be lonely game as a first time mum to twins. I’ve done it to myself with all of the above. Cocooned myself maybe a little too long. But it’s just not easy to nip anywhere join groups and socialise when your anxious about both boys going opposite ways. Then if someone offers help I don’t take it… it’s catch 22.

● I fancy Mr Bloom